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    Shakespeare's Fruit Salad

    Meet Shakespeare.

    Shakespeare is a tortoise, but genuinely believes he is a dog. He sniffs everything, digs holes in the garden and bites everything at least once.

    He also possesses that puppy dog trick, when staring into your eyes for long enough, he can make you give in to anything. If you hold him on your palm looking into his eyes and rotate it side to side, his neck will do all the work and he’d always win the staring completion- just ask Elliot, it’s their favourite game.

    He spends his days in what is an absolute disgrace of a human garden, but an absolute paradise of an Amazon for him, so I can't bring myself to weed out his snacks.

    He spends his nights (and cold winter days) in a purpose built Tortoise Mansion with an upstairs dining room, a corner jacuzzi, a master bedroom and a whole collection of 'pebble' cushions.

    Shakes is possibly the funniest, cutest, most adorable little man I've ever met, my wee little seratonine generator. But he can be naughty too, just watch him perform a brave stunt...

    Here's another video of him dealing with obsticles, that also happen to be my toes...

    The best thing about the little guy is that he is a Raw Vegan too!!!! Infact his diet is so healthy, he is my ongoing inspiration. He loves his wild edibles, watercress, rocket, collards and romaine, and especially all kinds of juicy creamy fruits. He can get very picky though, but this fruit salad is his all time favourite...


    Made out of only Bananas, Apples, Pears and Melon, this is the easiest thing to make.It may not be the most presentable salad though, so I decided to change that and carved a melon to create two bowls:

    -Cut into 2 halves-Deseed
    -Scoop out with a spoon or carve out the melon meat with a knife to use for the salad
    -Carve the spiky teeth
    -Pile in your chopped fruit

    What I have in the jar, Shakespeare would probably not approve of, but it is totally divine..

    Cashew Cream with Passionfruit

    1 Cup Cashews
    1 Cup Water

    -You can half the amount if your blender is small and the ingredients cover the blade
    -Blend to a creamy consistency
    -Pour over salad with the passionfruit


    This is not exactly Shakespeare's first choice, but it is mine, so I decided to add this salad in too...

    You can also do this will any other kind of fruit, but berries are by far my favourite, so what I used are Strawberries, Raspberries, Blackberries and 1 apple for the base

    -Chop the apple in half to make a steady base
    -Threat the berries onto wooden skewers
    -Spike skewers into the apple
    The dipping sauce can be any of your own choice, but what I put in mine was

    1 soft Avocado
    3 Tbsp Agave Nectar
    2 Tbsp Cacao Powder
    2 Tbsp water



    This is the fruit salad my sister made for mum and dad when they got back to Canada after visiting me here in London

    Chopsticks and a vase

    -Carve the pineapple into flowers
    -Dice mangoes into strips for the leaves
    -Peel the pomegranite and transfer all the seeds into glass vase
    -Thread everything onto chopsticks, leaving berries until last

    Flight of the Conchords for Pina Colada

    Dear Bret and Jemaine,

    I love you.
    You make me so happy.
    Thank you for last night.
    It was magical.

    Your biggest fan

    No, but seriously- how good are Flight of the Conchords live? I can't even believe I said good! They were hiiilarious. Fully awesome; choice; mint; primo; mean; sweet as bro. That's pretty much all the kiwi slang I can come up with, although I am sure there has to be another word that stands for 'best ever'! Surely. Kiwis?

    [yep we sat right at the back]

    'The band' performed at Wembley Arena yesterday and made me miss New Zealand so much. Omaha Beach, Coromandel, Piha, Pauanui, Whitianga, Maraetai, Long Bay Beach, even Eastern Beach! I think I may have just named all the beaches. I think I am having beach withdrawal symptoms. I think I need to get to a beach really soon. Really soon!

    Not only beaches either, for some peculiar reason I could not stop thinking of fejoas. My Lord, did I salivate at the thought. I could almost smell a fejoa, thinking about this fruit so much. And I decided as soon as we step foot on NZ soil for a visit in January, that is the first thing I will be eating.

    For now though, there is the next best thing.. and I did not fluff around getting to the local vege markets for a one handsome ripe pineapple and one heavenly young Thai coconut, because together they make one outstanding Pina Colada!

    1/2 Pineapple
    1 young Thai coconut (jelly meat and water)

    To slice pineapple:
    1. Twist off the crown
    2. Chop pineapple in half (deal with half at a time)
    3. Skin with a sharp knife
    4. Chop into quarters lengthwise
    5. Cut the core out
    6. Slice into whatever sizes your blender will take

    To open a young coconut:
    1. If it doesn't already look like mine in the picture, then you better get your nice local vege market man to carve it, or you may strugle with just a kitchen knife.
    2. Shave skin of the top of coconut to reveal the shell
    3. Tap around the diameter of the top of coconut with the cleaver edge of large knife, until you find a soft spot
    4. Force the sharp end of the knife under the ‘cap’ you’ve created, turn upright so the water doesn’t pour out and pop the cap off. Coconuts have circular grain
    5. pour water into blender
    6. scoop all the jelly meat out and add to blender with pineapple

    Blend. And then forget about everything